When I worked out I was gay and decided to leave the church at 29.

I changed my mind on airing my views. Sometimes silence is better.

The US election showed me that I had trapped myself in wishful thinking.

Oh, most days. I can watch a political programme and think, “That sounds a really good point.” Then someone will argue the opposite and I’ll think, “Yeah, he’s got a point as well.” I am constantly sitting on a fence.

I’m actually looking forward to getting older.

People give me a hard time about my hats. Over Christmas, this drunk woman shouted something about me having a shit hat because I had a red beanie on. Last week at a party, someone gave me a hard time for wearing a cap. I just think about melting ice caps when this happens.

I once asked a young woman if she had ever heard of the musician Laura Marling, insinuating I knew Laura Marling, to which she replied: “I am Laura Marling.”

A visual artist.

Completely nuts.

I’ve been lugging around Doris Lessing’s books, which I have yet to read.