My brother was singing Yellow Submarine on stage with his class. I was singing along with them, showing off cos I knew all the words. The song ended suddenly and I was the only one in the whole hall who sang, 'We ...'

Gloria Hunniford’s wedding at Hever Castle 20-odd years ago. We had a lovely buffet and a few drinks and then I had to get a cab back to the train station. I said to the driver: “I’m ever so sorry, but I’m not going to be able to hang on till I get to the train. Could you possibly take me down this alleyway?” He said: “Yes, of course.” As I prepared myself to go “to the ladies”, this police car came along and the policeman said: “Hi-de-Hi!”

Playing a pregnant woman, and not being able to find the padding - I shoved a cardie under my dress, and spent the whole play walking around with a sleeve dragging along the floor.

The idiocy of going to Skye from New Zealand in April 2020. All of a sudden, I’m turning on the news and hearing myself as an item. I have never been more mortified.

Moments of vanity, carelessness and unkindness.

Surprise. Smiles. Courage. Safety.

The US election showed me that I had trapped myself in wishful thinking.

Living in a ski resort.

On X, I am regularly called a traitor, a fraud, a grifter, a weakling, a narcissist, a coward and a child molester.

A painting of a man who was killed on the Dutch coast in 1600.