Diving in the Virgin Islands. I lost sight of the boat and had to swim to a tiny, deserted island. After a great deal of time, the rescue boat saw me waving for my life on the rocks.

I had a bad heart attack 20 years ago: I think I slid off the mortal coil for about 30 seconds.

It is a very rare affliction. A GP would expect to meet it once in a career and this form of brain cancer is unpredictable and dangerous. Usually, this tumour might give you only a two-year span since its discovery. I have had two operations and one course of radiotherapy and now three chemotherapies (one currently starting). My death is, in a sense, imminent. I say to myself: I am dying. Something in my head is hurrying to kill me.

Before transitioning, I had a severe eating disorder. The doctor said, “Your body’s shutting down and if you don’t improve your mental and physical wellbeing, you’ll die.” Shortly after that, I started transitioning medically and my eating disorder resolved.

Is all happiness in the past? Well, the births of three children. And playing with children and grandchildren.

Maybe a skilful bronze face somewhere. Or a small but helpful scholarship for a drama student or singer to study singing.

I would very, very much like to say sorry to my mother, for all the times I told her I hadn’t got the time to talk.

To lose my fourth baby.