What is the best advice you have ever received?

Originally asked

Vogue, to one guest at a time, on camera, 73 Questions

A repeated rapid-fire prompt in Vogue's 73 Questions, verified in separate English- and Korean-language episodes.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

Recorded Ruth Bader Ginsburg said elsewhere, not written here
My mother-in-law’s advice, which she gave me on the day of our wedding — we were married in Marty’s home, and his mother took me into the bedroom, her bedroom and said, “Dear, I’d like to tell you the secret of a happy marriage.” “Yes. What is the secret?” “It helps sometimes to be a little deaf.” And I found that advice — it stood me in very good stead not only in a wonderful marriage that lasted well over half a century, but in every workplace I’ve served, dealing with my faculty colleagues when I was a law teacher, and even now with my colleagues on the Supreme Court. When an unkind word is said, a thoughtless word, best to tune out.

Academy of Achievement interview, Washington, D.C., 14 July 2016 source ↗

Others on this question

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Right, I went back as a mature student to art school, and I was advised to use my train journeys and commutes, or to just take time in the morning before work to sit down and write something. That was, I think, the beginnings of understanding what it meant to have a writing practice.
Recorded The Talks, 19 March 2022 source ↗
Richard Feynman Theoretical physicist; Nobel laureate in Physics, 1965
Then there was Von Neumann, the great mathemati-cian. We used to go for walks on Sunday. We'd walk in the canyons, and we'd often walk with Bethe, and Von Neumann, and Bacher. It was a great pleasure. And Von Neumann gave me an interesting idea; that you don't have to be responsible for the world that you're in.
Recorded First Annual Santa Barbara Lectures on Science and Society, University of California at Santa Barbara, Engineering and Science / Caltech Magazine, 1976 source ↗
Jimmy Carter 39th President of the United States, 1977–1981; Governor of Georgia 1971–1975
And my sister, whose name is Ruth Stapleton, was a famous evangelist. She wrote four or five books, and she would give lectures to 50,000 people at a time. She and I had a long walk in the woods on my farm, and she said, “Jimmy, quite often, when you have a blow to your pride and a horrible defeat, you can either give up, or you can look on it as a way that God opens to you to do different and even better things.”
Recorded Academy of Achievement interview, Atlanta, Georgia, 25 October 1991 source ↗
Andrew Lloyd Webber Composer of musical theatre
Harold Prince went to see it and he wrote me a letter saying don’t be discouraged about this because actually there’s some quite good songs in here. But he also said something which stayed with me all my life, which is that you can’t listen to a musical if you can’t look at it, by which he was actually saying that the designs for Jeeves were absolutely hideous.
Recorded Academy of Achievement interview, New York City, 13 September 2019 source ↗

More from Ruth Bader Ginsburg

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Question What advice would you give your twenty-year-old self, and what should they ignore? Time & hindsight
Having advanced well beyond what the French call "a certain age," I am often asked to convey to younger people helpful advice and counsel. So I will open these remarks with the best advice I ever received. The advice, which I have several times shared with others, was given to me by my mother-in-law on my wedding day. She had a prescription for a happy, enduring marriage: "It pays," she said, "it pays sometimes to be a little deaf."
Recorded New York Law School Law Review dinner, on accepting the Froessel Award, New York Law School Law Review (digitalcommons.nyls.edu), 12 February 1999 source ↗
Question What is the thing you are best at that nobody watching can see? Craft & work
I have followed that advice - with, I confess, occasional lapses not only at home, but in the places I have worked, even in relating to my colleagues at the Supreme Court. It is important to be a good listener if you are to work with others effectively, but it also pays, sometimes, to be a little deaf - for example, in my current position, when a colleague, academic commentator, or journalist writes that an opinion on which I labored endless hours, worrying over every word, is "sloppy," "smug," "strange," or "profoundly misguided." I am making none of those up.
Recorded New York Law School Law Review dinner, New York Law School Law Review (digitalcommons.nyls.edu), 12 February 1999 source ↗
Question What are you most proud of? Identity & self
I was fortunate to be born at the right time and to be in the right place when the Women’s Movement came alive. So many things were wrong with the way life was ordered in the ’70s. In many states, women didn’t serve on juries, to take just one example, and there were so many jobs that were off limits to women. People began to realize there was something wrong about that, and women should be free to aspire and achieve just as men are. So I had legal education, and I could use that education to help move this movement for change, for allowing women to realize their full potential, help move that along. So it was that ten years of my life that I devoted to litigating cases about — I don’t say women’s rights — I say the constitutional principle of the equal citizenship stature of men and women. I was tremendously fortunate to be able to participate in that movement for change.
Recorded Academy of Achievement interview, Washington, D.C., 14 July 2016 source ↗

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