When I was 17 I took on a class of six-year-olds for a week. When the Angelus rang at noon, they stood up in silence and I realised I was supposed to recite the prayer, which I did not know. I said: “There will be no Angelus today because of that child fidgeting at the back.”

I worked in a supermarket on the Kings Road when I was 17, standing by the beers, wines and spirits to make sure people didn’t shoplift. They were such horrible employers that I didn’t care whether people shoplifted or not.

I lived in Cape Town, and I was spotted on the street and signed up by a modelling agency. I did about three shoots before I realised I hate having my photograph taken and I like food.

About five years ago, I was in a play that was an unmitigated disaster. I had to rally the troops and go out every night.

I always relate love to happiness.

Some of my old teachers for disrupting lessons. I was the class clown.

I don’t think I would change anything because it might not have got me here.

Material. I wake up in the middle of the night and write jokes.

Getting a house. I didn’t think that was a possibility for me. I’ve been able to do amazing things – Netflix, tours, winning a Bafta – but having something you own is hard, so that’s really up there.

Not investing in bitcoin.