In order to raise money to pay for myself to go to the National Youth Theatre, I performed a medley of my drama school speeches and some songs for my entire school. Considering I can’t sing, this was terrible. I did U Remind Me by Usher and Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T’s. They paid £2 each – basically, to laugh at me.

An earthquake in Peru forced me and a young man into the street, where he had to introduce me to his family at three in the morning.

When I was losing my sight, I couldn’t see where I was going, and I went into an undertaker’s thinking it was a barber’s. I asked the undertaker whether he had many waiting.

Passing wind on camera. I was doing a rather large movie and it was a closeup.

Nothing. I love getting old – I love the freedom it allows you.

Feeling so helpless. You feel that governments should be making better choices; people are speaking out and nothing seems to be done about it.

An artist, an interior designer and a vet.

Not being in pain – I have back problems and had shoulder surgery just before Christmas and there isn’t a day that goes by when I am not in pain.

When I was little, a couple of rapes took place in Glasgow. I remember my mum saying to walk in the middle of the pavement, and to this day I am very conscious of where I am.

As a great songwriter.