I was a waitress at a holiday camp. On a Wednesday afternoon all the guys used to pee into the rice pudding and we had to serve it to the customers.

Magician’s assistant on a cruise ship for two weeks when I was 19. When I was meant to be being levitated, I was silently crying while pretending to be unconscious as I hung limply off a metal pole. It was bleak.

Picking tiny bits of glass out of long grass for Haringey council, 45 years ago.

A temp job at BT. I still have nightmares about ADSL lines. I still don’t know what one is. I would find myself on national conference calls being questioned about ADSL lines and told that the problem was in London. I would try not to breathe so they would forget I was there.

I cry all the time. The last time was at the end of Paddington 2. Shirlie was laughing her head off.

The births of my children, Harley Moon (28) and Roman (25).

I wanted to play for Arsenal. When I have a kick-around with my boy, I still feel as if someone’s going to spot me.

Buzz Aldrin. I met him about 10 years ago and all I could do was look at his feet. What greater thing can you do than walk on the moon?

In 1995, I discovered I had two brain tumours. The process of having them removed went on for about three years. It was a long and drawn-out time, wondering whether or not I was going to die.