The question

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Originally asked

The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A

A verbatim standing question in The Guardian's rotating Q&A questionnaire, documented across respondents and years.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

Alessia Cara

Canadian singer-songwriter

Recorded said elsewhere, not written here
I wanted to have one part of my social media that was just for me to post pictures. If you like it, you can like it. If not, I don't have to know that you don't like it because people have a lot of opinions, which is fine, but I think there's a difference between having an opinion and just being mean for no reason.

Ella Cerón, Teen Vogue, 15 June 2018 source ↗

Others on this question

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Maggie O'Farrell Irish-British novelist
Interrupting or talking over people. As a stammerer, I am particularly alert to this.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 25 March 2023 source ↗
Complaining about the weather, because there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.
Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 27 June 2026 source ↗

More from Alessia Cara

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Question If you could edit your past, what would you change? Failure & regret
Yeah, I think I would’ve talked to people more and learned more. Throughout my high school years I was very quiet, I didn’t have many friends. I distanced myself from a lot of people. I don’t know why, I don’t really think there was a particular reason, just my personality—I didn’t really try to make friends or talk to people outside of the two people that I talked to, you know what I mean? I would’ve definitely tried to make more friends and not worry what people would think of me if I talked to them. And learn a lot more, ask more questions, and absorb as much as I could. I definitely tried, but I don’t know if tried hard enough.
Recorded Devon Ivie, Interview Magazine, 2015 source ↗
Question What is the biggest obstacle you have faced professionally? Craft & work
It was very challenging at first, as I came straight out of high school where my lifestyle was so different to that of a professional musician. I lived such a secluded life – I went from school to home, school to home, and never travelled anywhere. I hadn’t figured out who I was, as I hadn’t explored anything yet. To jump into the completely opposite lifestyle so quickly and so young was difficult – I was very afraid, and didn’t know how to say no.
Recorded Cordelia Lam, The Forty-Five, 30 July 2021 source ↗
Question When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? Daily life
This is something I still have to learn and figure out because I'm not perfect at it yet — but I've learned that just even something as simple as breathing properly can be a really nice form of meditation. Also talking to people about it. I started going to therapy, which has been really helpful just to get it out. Of course for me as a songwriter, writing helps. So does taking things a day at a time and stopping to just breathe because I'm a person who really thinks so far in advance all the time.
Recorded Ella Cerón, Teen Vogue, 15 June 2018 source ↗

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