Nuala McGovern: What is the harshest thing anyone has said to you? — FLAPSS

The question

What is the harshest thing anyone has said to you?

Originally asked

The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A

A fixed Guardian Q&A prompt asked directly across respondents and years.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

NM

Nuala McGovern

Recorded said elsewhere, not written here

One time an engineer said, “I always forget your frequency is at the same level as a crying baby.” I think he was on to something, because I have been told to shush many times over the years.

The Q&A, The Guardian, 8 November 2025 source ↗

Others on this question

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Romesh Ranganathan English actor and comedian

My wife when I tried out some new material on her, said: “I’m sure the people who like you would like that.”

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 31 August 2024 source ↗

Siobhán McSweeney

“Sorry, I don’t mean to insult you, but did you know you look a bit like that actress Siobhán McSweeney?”

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 30 December 2023 source ↗

Paapa Essiedu British actor

Called me the N-word.

Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 18 November 2023 source ↗

Hasn’t happened yet, it’s coming.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 11 April 2026 source ↗

More from Nuala McGovern

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Question What accomplishment matters most to you? Craft & work

In the Pet Shop Boys song Being Boring they’ve a great line that says “I never dreamed that I would get to be the creature that I always meant to be”. And I feel I am, so that’s great.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 8 November 2025 source ↗

Question How would you sum yourself up in three words? Identity & self

Curious, confident, cheerful.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 8 November 2025 source ↗

Question What one change would most improve the quality of your daily life? Daily life

Compulsory headphones for phone users in public.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 8 November 2025 source ↗

Question How close have you come to dying? Death & what remains

I lived in New York during 9/11 and worked a couple of blocks away from the twin towers. I was looking when the first tower exploded and then when the second plane flew in and, before we had to evacuate, I did see people jump to their death.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 8 November 2025 source ↗

Question What disappointment has stayed with you longest? Failure & regret

Three times when I lived in New York, I missed seeing David Bowie in real life by moments.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 8 November 2025 source ↗

Question How would you describe what love feels like to you? Relationships

Like a very full heart and a flip in my stomach when I see him.

Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 8 November 2025 source ↗

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