Magician’s assistant on a cruise ship for two weeks when I was 19. When I was meant to be being levitated, I was silently crying while pretending to be unconscious as I hung limply off a metal pole. It was bleak.
What is the worst job you have done?
Question
What is the worst thing anyone has said to you?
Failure & regret
Question
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Values & belief
Question
Which trait do you most dislike in yourself?
Identity & self
Question
How would you describe yourself in three words?
Identity & self
Question
How close have you come to death?
Death & what remains
Question
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Daily life
Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
The Guardian's long-running Q&A repeatedly asks this standing question, with minor tense variation.
You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.
Clearing up someone’s sick – it was on police duty.
The Q&A, The Guardian, 27 September 2025 source ↗
Others on this question
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Alex Jones
American far-right conspiracy theorist
Working in a call centre in Cardiff for British Gas. I was 21 and, I am ashamed to say, one Monday morning I ran away. I said I was going to the loo and never went back.
Rose Tremain
English writer
Working as the assistant to an agony aunt on a women’s magazine. When we didn’t get enough heartbreaking letters, we made them up.
Christmas elf at the Rainforest Cafe.
More from Penny Lancaster
View profile →An English teacher said, “You’ll never make anything of yourself.”
Lack of empathy.
I’m a bit of a hoarder.
Honest, empathetic, daring.
In a different sense, I’ve helped to try to resuscitate a dead man.
Less time on my phone.
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