The question

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Originally asked

Vanity Fair, to its interview subject, The Proust Questionnaire

Verbatim recurring item in Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire; two publisher-hosted respondent pages establish institutional recurrence.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

Joyce Carol Oates

Novelist, short story writer and essayist

Recorded said elsewhere, not written here
“Perfect happiness!”—waking in the morning to a clear & benevolent-seeming sky, a view from a window of a beautiful (if overgrown) garden, a cat purring. The excitement of rewriting the previous day’s work, & continuing on from that point energized & hopeful. For a writer, “happiness” isn’t likely to ever be “perfect”—but it is likely to be bound up with the work-in-progress. First drafts tend to be frustrating, exhausting—subsequent drafts sometimes move swiftly, even miraculously. For most adults, “Perfect is the enemy of good”—we learn to appreciate whatever measure of happiness we have, however modest.

The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 28 November 2018 source ↗

Others on this question

View all 167 →
Rafael Nadal Spanish professional tennis player, 2001–2024
Playing tennis, competing, winning, but also being at home in Spain, in Majorca, with my friends and family.
Recorded The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 1 October 2010 source ↗
Megan Rapinoe United States international footballer, 2006–2023
“Until we are all free, we are none of us free.” —Emma Lazarus. Perfect happiness exists only in my imagination at the moment.
Recorded The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 1 July 2020 source ↗
Getting hired. With the possible exception of my daughters’ births and my wedding day, the happiest moments of my life were when someone offered me a job.
Recorded The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, 8 September 2017 source ↗

More from Joyce Carol Oates

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Question Which teacher, parent, coach or friend most made you who you are, and what did you learn from them? Relationships
My parents inspired me by their example. They both grew up in the Depression, and both of them had to quit school when they were quite young to work, because there actually was no choice. So, though they’re intelligent people — and my father in particular is interested in books and has subsequently, since his retirement, attended classes at the University of Buffalo — nonetheless, they didn’t have any opportunity to be educated. So they’ve always impressed me with their resilience, their good spirits, their courage. It wasn’t an easy life, and I won’t go into details, but there were a lot of problems. And yet they were never defeated. Somebody else might have been defeated. Someone else might have been really depressed, or become an alcoholic or something, because there were personal problems and economic crises. But I just remember them carrying on and just doing their lives. They really made a strong impression on me.
Recorded Academy of Achievement interview source ↗
Question What is the trait you most deplore in others? Values & belief
Amid so much blatant cruelty in our political situation, such shocking indifference to the lives & welfare of those living at the margins of an affluent society, I think it must be this institutionalized cruelty, & the hypocrisy that surrounds it. “Making America great again”—for whom? Wealthy white people? The word “deplore” is particularly relevant here.
Recorded Vanity Fair, The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, November 2018 source ↗
Question Which trait do you most dislike in yourself? Identity & self
If I had a trait that I truly deplored, I would work to erase or modify it…Probably, a lack of discipline. (Though people think that I write quickly, & don’t revise, quite the reverse is true.) To myself, I work very slowly & painstakingly, & am often frustrated by accomplishing so little. My friend Margaret Atwood has said that in the late afternoon she is likely to be overcome by a feeling of desperation that she has accomplished so little that day, & this is a feeling I share, often. It seems that I waste most of my time gazing out the window here at my (overgrown) garden; & when I am in Berkeley, where I spend about one-third of the year, I am forever gazing out the window toward the San Francisco Bay & a continually changing, always-beautiful sky.
Recorded Vanity Fair, The Proust Questionnaire, Vanity Fair, November 2018 source ↗
Question How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a favourite failure? Failure & regret
And so I finally felt that I’d given up. ... And towards the morning, I started thinking, “Well, failure is actually what most people experience in boxing.” ... And I found a way to write about the whole sport by way of beginning with failure, with the image of failure.
Recorded Academy of Achievement interview, 20 May 1997 source ↗

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