When I was a kid in Tooting, our house caught fire. We didn’t realise until the fire brigade turned up.

Giving birth is much more treacherous than people let on.

Scuba diving in Costa Rica. My stunt double and I were trying out some equipment that let us talk to each other and I ran out of air at 80ft - probably because I talked too much. I had to use his air. Then we were surrounded by sharks. It was scary.

In 1995, I discovered I had two brain tumours. The process of having them removed went on for about three years. It was a long and drawn-out time, wondering whether or not I was going to die.

At 16, I thought I’d be part of transforming the world into a socialist egalitarian arena of peace and justice. I’m not sure we’ve quite managed it.

My kids. I think if you don’t want to say sorry to your kids you’ve been an appalling parent.

Younger people being amazed that I know what song they’re listening to.

I’m so tempted to answer serial killer.

Through a series of mistakes in write-ups, I’d like to be remembered for something like being Britain’s finest downhill skier or inventing pickled onions.

When I was 16, my dad got drunk at the Oval cricket ground and harangued Sir Garry Sobers, possibly the greatest cricketer of all time, because he didn’t agree with who he’d given as man of the match.