It happened when I was younger, somewhere outside London. We were on bikes, and this older girl pulled up and said something racist that I won’t repeat. I will never forget that, because it was the first time, and I was like, “Oh, I am feeling different from everyone around me right now”.

I stopped drinking 18 or 19 years ago, and in an argument someone who will remain nameless said: “Oh just go and have a drink.” It was nasty.

“You’ll never, ever work.” When you are young and full of hopes and dreams it’s devastating. I am just grateful that I thought: “Well, I’m going to try.”

On Angela's Ashes, Alan Parker said to me, 'You've got the Bafta, just get in the door.' I was walking along the street to go into a shop and he saw me milking it a bit. It was a really good piece of advice.

A Rolls-Royce. I met my wife, Jackie, when I was filming a Lynda La Plante drama called The Governor. I fell in love with her instantly and I was bullshitting that I had a Rolls-Royce. When I finished filming, she decided to leave her country and come and live with me in London. On the way to the airport, I phoned my PA and said, “Go and buy a Rolls-Royce.”

Losing my marbles.

Selfishness and cruelty.

Cowardice. There are so many issues that I would like to express opinions about but I’m too scared to stick my head above the parapet because of the social media pile-on.

The Fake Sheikh did a sting on me once and the News of the World headline was “Craig Charles is an evil drug-pushing monster”. That wasn’t good on the school run, I’ll tell you that.

Love makes me feel sick. I get sick with worry about my kids. It keeps me up at night.