I’d like to say sorry to my mother. I had to choose between my parents, and I chose my father because he didn’t have any other kids. (My mother was a war widow and had two children from her first marriage.) I thought, in a childish way, that one had to be fair. It was very difficult for my mother and me, and we never really got over it.

A teacher at my secondary school. We used to write and sing songs about him. Sorry, Sir! You were a great teacher.

When I was in my 20s, I had an uncle who took his own life. I would like a second chance to say: “Hang in there.” My parents were living abroad, and me and my sister were just too young to notice the flags.

Katy Perry. I hired a Russell Brand lookalike as a joke for the radio, and she thought it was actually him. When she realised it wasn’t, she burst into tears. She was still married to him, but I didn’t take into account that there were things going on that we didn’t know.

Want for your brothers and sisters what you want for yourself.

Impulsivity. We end up in strange places, like right now – I am in the Middle East.

Leafleting for a window company when I was 12. I remember putting them through letterboxes thinking: I’m going to sell drugs, because this is rubbish.

Juicy, funny, impulsive.

We’re not really allowed to cry where I’m from. I can only cry in summer, at the height of hay fever.

Turning my life around. Seeing the level of criminality I was involved with, and coming to the realisation that it was not the life that I should be leading.