I can always remember, when I was at high school we had a school sort of army battalion and because, at that time, I was one of the larger boys, I was appointed sergeant of the number one platoon, and I was always absolutely petrified that when I was meant to turn the platoon left or turn it right, I was really actually hopeless at knowing quite what to do. But fortunately, my platoon, who were really all the misfits in the school, the larger misfits, they stood by me, and some of them were quite good at knowing when to turn left or turn right. So whatever command I gave, they would do the right thing. We were a pretty good platoon as a consequence although, at the time, I felt an absolute idiot.

I was doing a photoshoot right after an awards show and I was talking about someone whose makeup I really didn’t like. I said: “She’s gorgeous, I don’t understand how a makeup artist could encourage that?” And the makeup artist on the photoshoot said: “I did her makeup.”

I once asked a young woman if she had ever heard of the musician Laura Marling, insinuating I knew Laura Marling, to which she replied: “I am Laura Marling.”

Dancing on stage with an open fly.

Any time I’ve been racially profiled. The words might be different, but the feeling is the same.

That there is no ideal life. Disappointments sit around every corner, so enjoy the here and now.

A shoot with a showbusiness icon who I’d loved all my life and shall remain nameless. She walked into the room and immediately said she hated everything. Things went downhill from there. Rough day.

Impatience. Though sometimes it helps!

When I get to the restaurant and don’t see any hot sauce on the table.

In African families, you can be one of three things: a doctor, a lawyer or a failure. I wanted to be an Egyptologist, but things worked out in the end.