What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Originally asked

The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A

A verbatim standing question in The Guardian's rotating Q&A questionnaire, documented across respondents and years.

You answer as yourself. Nobody on FLAPSS answers as anybody else.

Recorded Barack Obama said elsewhere, not written here
The thing actually that I most dislike is cruelty. I can't stand cruel people. And if I see people doing something mean to somebody else, just to make themselves feel important it really gets me mad.

Barbara Walters, ABC News 20/20, broadcast 23 December 2011, 22 December 2011 source ↗

Others on this question

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I’m irritated by critics and academics who dismiss poetry that is popular, comprehensible or humorous.
Recorded The Q&A, The Guardian, 10 January 2026 source ↗

More from Barack Obama

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Question What do you consider your greatest achievement? Craft & work
One of the things that Michelle and I are proud of is that we came through the White House with our souls intact. Everybody has heard: Power corrupts. I do think if you are placed in such an artificial situation, and your office has great importance, there is a tendency for people to want to please you. To not be as honest with you. We fought against that.
Recorded Ben Tiggelaar, Forward Thinking Leadership, Amsterdam, Ben Tiggelaar, 28 September 2018 source ↗
Question In the last five years, what new belief, behaviour, or habit has most improved your life? Daily life
You'll see I wear only gray or blue suits. … I'm trying to pare down decisions. I don't want to make decisions about what I'm eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make. … You need to focus your decision-making energy. You need to routinize yourself. You can't be going through the day distracted by trivia.
Recorded Michael Lewis, Vanity Fair, October 2012 issue, 11 September 2012 source ↗
Question Which living person do you most admire, and why? Values & belief
People ask me sometimes, who inspires you, Mr. President? Those quiet heroes all across this country -- some of your parents and grandparents who are sitting here -- no fanfare, no articles written about them, they just persevere. They just do their jobs. They meet their responsibilities. They don't quit. I'm only here because of them. They may not have set out to change the world, but in small, important ways, they did. They certainly changed mine.
Recorded Barnard College, New York City, The White House (Obama administration archive), 14 May 2012 source ↗
Question What are you unwilling to optimise? Values & belief
There are some things about being president that I still have difficulty doing. … For example, faking emotion. Because I feel it is an insult to the people I'm dealing with. For me to feign outrage, for example, feels to me like I'm not taking the American people seriously. I'm absolutely positive that I'm serving the American people better if I'm maintaining my authenticity. And that's an overused word. And these days people practice being authentic. But I'm at my best when I believe what I am saying.
Recorded Michael Lewis, Vanity Fair, October 2012 issue, 11 September 2012 source ↗
Question What has been your biggest disappointment? Failure & regret
If you ask me where has been the one area where I feel that I've been most frustrated and most stymied it is the fact that the United States of America is the one advanced nation on earth in which we do not have sufficient common-sense, gun-safety laws. Even in the face of repeated mass killings. … And for us not to be able to resolve that issue has been something that is distressing. But it is not something that I intend to stop working on in the remaining 18 months.
Recorded Jon Sopel, BBC News interview, the White House, 24 July 2015 source ↗

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