I’ve shat myself in public three times. It’s never quite as bad as you fear.
The Q&A, The Guardian, 11 October 2025 source ↗
The question
When were you most embarrassed?Originally asked
The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A
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I’ve shat myself in public three times. It’s never quite as bad as you fear.
The Q&A, The Guardian, 11 October 2025 source ↗
Fifteen years ago, I totally forgot my lines on stage and was mortified. We skipped two pages of dialogue and took three minutes off the play – to the delight of the audience!
Playing a pregnant woman, and not being able to find the padding - I shoved a cardie under my dress, and spent the whole play walking around with a sleeve dragging along the floor.
Where do I begin?
When I was 17, my friends and I threw a fashion show for a breast cancer charity. Breast cancer is something my mum went through when I was 14, so prevention is very close to my heart. Our singer, who was performing during the fashion show, dropped out at the last minute so I had to step in. It’s on video, and my sister always brings it up.
I’m a classic remoaner.
Three mature palm trees. We restored a property in Italy that had been derelict and I needed to make it look established as quickly as I could.
I can be horribly smug and conceited, and yet always in the back of my mind is the thought that things could go terribly wrong at any moment.
Aggression. Anger. Rudeness. Intolerance. Lack of understanding. Pretty much your average day on X.
Middle-class wanker.
All the kids I didn’t reply to who’ve written lovely letters about my books.
Stockard Channing, Sam Ryder, Monica Dolan, Frank Bowling, Jack Whitehall, Walton Goggins
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