Time & hindsight

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

141 answers answered between 1956 and 2026 one of 25 in The Q&A

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The Guardian, to a different person each week, The Q&A

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Public figures who have answered a question like this elsewhere. Quoted from the source shown, not written for FLAPSS.

Warren Zevon Songwriter and musician
I might have made a tactical error in not going to a physician for 20 years. ... It's one of those phobias that didn't pay off. ... How much you're supposed to enjoy every sandwich.
Recorded David Letterman, Late Show with David Letterman, 30 October 2002, as reported in the New York Times Magazine, The New York Times Magazine, 26 January 2003 source ↗
Ed Harris American actor and director
Don't let MGM distribute a film you care about.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 11 August 2007 source ↗
It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases – one was Alzheimer's and the other was knowing I had Alzheimer's. There were times when I thought I'd have been much happier not knowing, just accepting that I'd lost brain cells and one day they'd probably grow back or whatever. It is better to know, though, and better for it to be known, because it has got people talking, which I rather think was what I had in mind.
Recorded Written for the Alzheimer's Society in 2008; reprinted by the Observer in the week of his death, The Guardian, 2008 source ↗
Tony Judt Historian and essayist
I think the only life experience that I have to offer out of this is something we all know in the abstract but don't experience in practice very much. That is that you can survive an awful lot of bad stuff, so long as your mind is intact. I'm afraid that's the only life experience I have to offer.
Recorded Terry Gross, Fresh Air, NPR, 29 March 2010 source ↗
Roger Ebert Film critic
I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.
Recorded Salon, excerpted from Life Itself: A Memoir, 15 September 2011 source ↗
Maurice Sendak Children's author and illustrator
Yes. I'm not unhappy about becoming old. I'm not unhappy about what must be. It makes me cry only when I see my friends go before me and life is emptied. I don't believe in an afterlife, but I still fully expect to see my brother again. ... But, you know, there's something I'm finding out as I'm aging that I am in love with the world. And I look right now, as we speak together, out my window in my studio and I see my trees and my beautiful, beautiful maples that are hundreds of years old, they're beautiful. And you see I can see how beautiful they are. I can take time to see how beautiful they are. It is a blessing to get old. It is a blessing to find the time to do the things, to read the books, to listen to the music.
Recorded Terry Gross, Fresh Air, NPR — recorded by telephone in September 2011, his last interview, 20 September 2011 source ↗
Christopher Hitchens Essayist, critic and journalist
Before I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer a year and a half ago, I rather jauntily told the readers of my memoirs that when faced with extinction I wanted to be fully conscious and awake, in order to “do” death in the active and not the passive sense. And I do, still, try to nurture that little flame of curiosity and defiance: willing to play out the string to the end and wishing to be spared nothing that properly belongs to a life span. However, one thing that grave illness does is to make you examine familiar principles and seemingly reliable sayings. And there’s one that I find I am not saying with quite the same conviction as I once used to: In particular, I have slightly stopped issuing the announcement that “Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”
Recorded Vanity Fair, January 2012 source ↗
Diana Athill Editor and memoirist
That this was true, I owe to Montaigne. I can’t remember when I read, or was told, that he considered it a good thing to spend a short time every day thinking about death, thus getting used to its inevitability and coming to understand that something inevitable is natural and can’t be too bad, but it was in my early teens, and it struck me as a sensible idea. Of course I didn’t set out to think about death in a regular way every day, but I did think about it quite often, and sure enough, it worked.
Recorded The Guardian, 23 September 2014 source ↗
Clive James Critic, essayist, poet and broadcaster
I think I actually wrote it in one of my poems is that my decline has been the making of me - I forget how I put it. Yeah, simply more reflective. I haven't got the excuse of moving forward just on impulse anymore, which I did, I think, for a long, long time.
Recorded Philip Williams, 7.30, ABC, ABC News, 20 August 2015 source ↗
Kate Bowler Historian of American Christianity; professor at Duke Divinity School
But cancer has also ushered in new ways of being alive. Even when I am this distant from Canadian family and friends, everything feels as if it is painted in bright colors. In my vulnerability, I am seeing my world without the Instagrammed filter of breezy certainties and perfectible moments. I can’t help noticing the brittleness of the walls that keep most people fed, sheltered and whole. I find myself returning to the same thoughts again and again: Life is so beautiful. Life is so hard.
Recorded The New York Times, Sunday Review, 13 February 2016 source ↗
David Lynch Film director, screenwriter and painter
Always have final cut
Recorded Laura Muzzarelli, Maharishi University of Management commencement Q&A, TIME, 27 June 2016 source ↗
Ram Dass Spiritual teacher and author
Well, I—I've experienced that the stroke was grace. It was grace, for me, to play, to get inside, grace. I was dependent. These are things that I—those, those were graceful things. You know, pushed. And just go inside, to be—you're a quote "author" and it's a cultural thing, that role, to get into your head. But it's a head game. It's a head game. And I wanted to get down to my spiritual identity. And the stroke placed me at the spiritual identity.
Recorded Ross Simonini, The Believer, issue 115, by Skype from Hawaii, 20 November 2017 source ↗
Edward Enninful Ghanaian-born English editor and stylist
That there is no ideal life. Disappointments sit around every corner, so enjoy the here and now.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 24 December 2022 source ↗
Matthew Modine American actor
That we are all no more and no less than a single thread in a gigantic web of life. What we do and how we behave has repercussions for the entire web.
Recorded The Guardian, The Q&A, The Guardian, 21 January 2023 source ↗

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